The bigger our goals and dreams, the stronger the foundation holding them up must be.
Most people create big dreams and live small lives. Lives that are not being expressed and lived to the magnitude of their dreams and goals.
So naturally, the dream caves in on itself.
It doesn't have enough support under it.
Which becomes another reason why most people don't dream bigger - their current lives and thoughts, their current ambitions and desires do not have enough energy and follow through, enough commitment or passion to fuel a bigger dream than the one they are currently living.
So they stagnate.
They stop fueling their lives and dreams with new energy, new thoughts, new motivations, new environments and more empowering dreams.
Most people have slowed down so much in pursuit of their dreams, that eventually, they stop altogether.
They stop because without momentum and multiple reasons, they are easily derailed and halted in their journey. They easily give up and stop trying.
Most people's dreams don't come true simply because they stop desiring them with total abandon and commitment.
Because if they had total abandon and commitment, they would not be so easily moved aside or halted. They would continue even on the days when they don't fully love it or want to do the hard work or the grunt work. They would push through on the tough days so that they can enjoy the pleasure of riding the wave on the great days.
I have heard it way too many times, "It wasn't what I expected."
So because it wasn't what they expected, they simply gave up. They threw in the towel because that is easier than recommitting and asking ourselves questions and reflecting on why it didn't work and getting back up.
"It wasn't what I expected" is honestly, poor planning!
So, if you want to accomplish your goals and dreams faster...
EXPECT FAILURE as much as you EXPECT TO SUCCEED.
The reason that it will help you accomplish them faster is because you prepared and you have planned. Because you thought about plan A, B and C.
You will take longer and possibly not even reach your goals because you not only expected to succeed and painted that picture so vividly, you also painted it inaccurately.
You were so eager to start and catch up to everyone else that you didn't put enough thought, intention, presence and planning into your dream.
FAILURE IS NOT THE OPPOSITE OF SUCCESS, IT IS A NECESSARY PART OF SUCCESS!
When you did your visualizations and affirmations, all you did was plan to succeed and omitted the most important element to success - FAILURE.
So the moment your present reality does not match your visualization, you become deterred. You begin to question the likelihood of the dream coming true when what really failed, was your ability to properly plan and visualize.
You did not expect failure and so therefore, you failed to properly plan your contingency plan on how you would respond to failure. You did not visualize how you would respond in the moment that things would go wrong because you imagined that nothing would go wrong, that your dream, would be a straight shot without any hurdles, interruptions or setbacks.
Because let's be honest - shit will go massively wrong!...
....and this is your dreams way of testing you to see how deep your desire and commitment to bring it to life are.
Similar to King Arthur and Excalibur, many tried to pull the sword from the stone and all failed but one. The one who the sword knew would know what to do with it and how to wield it.
Our dreams work in the same way.
Unless we prepare ourselves to stand up for it, to fight for it, to dream the dream, to obsess over the dream and relentlessly pursue it, to see it when no one else sees it because they have given up...then our dream will always elude us.
And this is why it is important to expect....
...expect that our "friends" will abandon us along the way because it is not their dream.
...expect to miss days of our routine and habits.
...expect that some days, we just won't want to get out of bed.
...expect to fall, to doubt, to hesitate.
You must expect that your unchecked emotions will get in the way of your dreams.
We must expect that often, we will find ourselves alone.
We must expect at times, that it will feel like nothing is happening.
You must expect that others will laugh at you, ridicule you and call you crazy (say thank you!)
And we must also ultimately expect, that quite possibly, this dream was a stepping stone to a bigger dream we had not yet begun to dream. That this process and journey, was actually the beginning of something bigger.
This is what expecting and planning for failure may look or sound like when you experience:
- abandon by your friends - expect that it will get lonely at times and that your best friend becomes your dream and who you will be able to help, support and serve as you achieve your dream.
- missing days of your routines and habits - success is not linear and missing a few things in your routines is not the end of the world. Recommit and make sure to do the most important things moving your day forward.
- mind over mattress- expect that some days, your bed sheets will weigh a ton. On these days, maybe your body needs the rest or maybe you must reconnect with the pull of your dream to help you up. Staying in bed is a call to ask better questions.
- falling, doubting or hesitating - expect to fall because it means you need to learn something new. Doubt is great tool because it slows us down enough to question our approach or our reasons. And hesitation is usually a sign that we need greater clarity or increased momentum. Expect these three to come at different times or maybe all at once, and also know what to do when they do come.
- emotions clouding your judgement - sometimes our emotions are unchecked and can run wildly within us, creating further confusion. Other times, our thoughts are unchecked. When you know to expect these emotions or thoughts and that they will be a part of the process, your anticipation of them will give you certainty and remind you that, you got this, you knew it would come and you know you will get through it, because you must. You learn to align your thoughts with your emotions.
- looking around and feeling alone - expect to hear that inner voice, that often comes when no one is around, that speaks to you and reminds you of your reasons. Expect and look forward to those moments of solitude, for it is often there that you find your next breakthrough.
- nothing - you look for external results or validation and you get crickets. This is a very important part of success that most just don't anticipate or expect. Success is often subtle, a silent inner voice and feeling that says, "YES, keep at it, you've got this." Most people are not used to the silence of greatness and assume that people will be clapping and cheering you on the entire time.
- ridicule or "you are crazy" remarks - your dream is testing you through others to gauge your level of commitment and obsession. It was Steve Jobs who said,
" Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do."
- maybe this isn't for me - this is the toughest feeling because we don't want to feel like quitters. However, there is a big difference between quitting and choosing, deciding to stop. Sometimes you had to start something to gain greater clarity of what you don't in order to know more committedly what you do want.
So when we begin to expect failure as part of the journey on the path of success and accurately plan, we will be better prepared to get back up when we fall. We will be better prepared to recommit daily to our dream and who we become along the way. We can then begin to build more solid foundations within ourselves that will support us when we are tired, disconnected, disengaged, beaten up, depressed, frustrated, alone, unsupported and stuck or lost.
These foundations are what we fall back, such as: confidence, commitment, love, joy, courage, fortitude, resilience, empathy, compassion, gratitude, appreciation and trust.
As Les Brown says, "the graveyard is the richest place on earth," because it is there that the hopes and dreams of so many are left unfilled, all because they were too afraid of what others might say or because they did not have the determination to carry out their dreams and overcome their obstacles.
It is far easier to give up or stop, to change dreams and goals, to listen to others tell us stories of their failed attempts and think that the same fate awaits us, than it is to fully commit to planning and expecting a joyous and arduous road of challenges, opportunities, struggle, successes, failures, setbacks and comebacks.
Most dreams take too long to accomplish in part because they never got started or because we allowed all the "perceived failures" and "signs from the universe" to slow us down or stop us. When those same "failures" and "signs from the universe" are might also be reminding you to recommit and re-energize. They are reminding you and testing your valor and courage, your obsession to self expression and fulfillment by who you BECOME ALONG THE WAY.
Stopping on the path to your dreams because of a setback, failure or what someone says about you, says more about the character of the person that lies within, than it does about the world around you.
Your motivation to become the person and create the life within and without that supports the dream you have been given, must be soo compelling that the momentum will carry you through almost all obstacles that will come your way.
When we expect failure, we can plan for it.
We can build a stronger and more resilient foundation that will stand strong and rise back up faster.
We arrive at our dreams faster and more energized and excited for the next phase, when we become a better person, living an optimized life where we expect failure, challenges and obstacles, as a way to weed out others who may share the same dream but are not worthy of carrying the dream and being transformed by it.
You will accomplish your goals faster when you begin to allow yourself to be shaped by your dreams and all that comes on that path, especially failure.